Never Be Me

Letting go was never my option. I doubt it'll ever be. But with the present consequences, I think it's the only option... let go.

There are more than a million reasons why I'd want to take the step and get out of your life already. There are just as many reasons why I would not want to get hurt anymore.. or put you in the risk of my schemes. Unfortunately, I could never leave. Leaving would mean abandoning you, letting go of everything we had, and giving up my used-to-be-life. I do admit it. It was a mistake to make you my life. But it was never a mistake in the sense that you weren't worth it 'cause honestly, you were worth every second. Nothing could have ever given me the happiness that you made me feel. You were the one. The only one.

You made me feel complete. You were my other half, remember?

Now, things are just different. As much as I'd want to tell myself that there's no hope in getting you back anymore, I don't think I'll ever be ready to accept that. (Though I'm particularly sure that it's true) As much as I long to be with you again, hold your hands just like the first time, hug you for no reason at all, look in your eyes once again(like june 23), call you my dearest and tell you that I really love you and you're still who you are to me... there's just nothing. No hope at all. Forgive me if I dwell on it every night, thinking of what we could have still been.. if only. If only...

If only fate could have interlaced our strings in a much better fashion.

But it's done, and you can't tie together strings that are too frayed anymore. Even if you do, they're bound to loosen up.

I don't want to distract you anymore. You're happy. Though my insides are having a revolution since you're happy WITHOUT me, I believe it's better if I just stop myself right now. I don't want to keep bothering you about your past. (since that's where I belong now) I don't want to remind myself that my happiness could never be without you. I just have to accept the fact.

...Accept the fact that I'll be only half a person for the rest of my life.

How I wish that I could just love you forever, like I promised to.

Let me hold you, cause I never for one second let go of you. (you know this, right?)

Put the blame on me.

You don't have to live the rest of your life dwelling in the past.

You've got a better future for you.

All I ask right now is this...

Please.

Don't be like me.